anak ng…

tuloy-tuloy ang ikot ng mundo, hindi ito hihinto para lang sayo…
- ikot, stonefree

sino bang nagpapaikot ng mundo at paki para lang po at bababa na ako…
- ikot ng mundo, razorback

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couldn’t see how every sign were pointing straight to you…
- broken road, rascal flatts

sayoooooo, lahat nakaturo sayooooooo….
- nakaturo sa’yo, razorback

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baby na sa bahay, baby pa rin sa trabaho.  tsk tsk tsk.  i remember that time ed was this close (picture me gesturing ‘half an inch’ with my fingers) to calling the scalabrini center and pretending to be some insurance or credit agent coz i didn’t have the balls to call the ‘bullfighter’ myself and check if he got back from his trip ok.  yeeees i think that tops my list of funny-slash-pathetic moments. 

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why is it that when you’re broke, you think of all these things you need and want to buy, and then when a thick wad of cash suddenly falls on your lap, you turn into the stingiest person in the world.  o stingy, alam mo ba yang word na yan?  ingles yan.  ("inconsiderate.  alam niyo ba yon?  ingles yon." -daddy, to a lady who parked in front of our car and trapped us in for 30mins)

i feel so betrayed.  i was so stupid to miss the fact that the loyalty of these people were with… well definitely not with me.  siempre jac.  s-i-e-m-p-r-e.  i mean sino ba naman ako.  just another chick in need of a hobby.  now there’s nobody there to defend or protect me.  those who have always had something against me are basking in this chance to put me down and keep me there, pathetically for an awful long while. 

so why stay?  coz i’m not gonna let this loser disrupt my life.  kebs if i only have two real friends there.  heck i can even brave this on my own.  all i have to do is switch to ’stoic’ mode - which is soooo easy and is actually more me - and i’m good to go.  wala nang pleasantville friendly-friendly-han.  ichura ng mga ‘to. 

question is ‘is it all worth it?’ 

where you are is where i belong i do know where you go is where i wanna be

thaemar pointed out that my unicorn is bound to appear sooner or later because i am once again apparently moving on.  and now is actually the best time for his usual ‘hey u out’ line and disturbing ‘gnyt’ bit.  as in the best time, out of all those other times that i was thankful for but felt i could handle on my own.  but i’m adamantly sinking deeper and deeper into this mess and nobody’s strong enough to pull me out and draw me into the light.  so in the immortal words of the doors, the time to hesitate is through.  seek out the unicorn.  carebear countdown, i shall text him in two days.  let’s see what happens. 

saw jake roxas yesterday in alabang.  we were having lunch at brothers burgers and he walks in the door.  man!  whattaman!  he got a bit bigger i think, or he just looks hunkier in person.  his wavy brown hair came down over his pretty eyes in the coolest possible way ever.  LAHAT NG LALAKING KILALA KO PANGET!

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was at a banzon merienda-cena yesterday.  lolo colonel found out about my wushu nationals gig and wasn’t too happy about it.  "aba’y dapat tinanong mo kung ba’t may deduction!"  last year, just a few months after i started he was pressuring me to work at making the doha lineup.  i love you lolo.  i promise to introduce you to my athlete/asiad/olympiad friends soon. 

"when’s he coming home ba?," mom asks, desperate to put a stop to all this madness.  stop this madness!  as dianne would always say.  sus.  as if i’m gonna allow anything bad to happen.  anyways ana and i have devised a fool-proof plan.  point to sachi.  and then run for your life!!! 

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so i-ha-hang ko ba o derecho lang?  nalilito na yung leg ko.  "basic lang tayo.  basic.  yung iba dyan, nakagawa lang, nag-iiba na yung attitude."  i’m scared. 

joelle: there goes my hero, he’s ordinareeah…

jacqui: there goes my hero, he’s extra-ordinareeah…

lucas: there goes camille, she’s ordinario

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jacqui: efren who?

joelle: efren forever!

in the span of two weeks i’ve gone with my parents to the same chinese restaurant a total of three times(!) to have some pancit and siomai for merienda.  and all those three times, the itchyworms’ latest sikat song love team played on the radio.  talaga namang the things you notice.

sana wag mo kong sisihin kung di ko kayang pigilin sabi mo na mahal mo ko ngunit di naman seryoso sana ay magkasing-kulay ang drama sa tunay na buhay ko…